Back to the Start
by 4everkurtstan
Summary: Blaine is heartbroken after he made the biggest mistake of his life but he may have been given the chance to change everything.
1. Chapter 1

AN: After watching TBU I really kind of hated Blaine. So I wrote this to try to see Blaine's point of view.

Blaine didn't know why he was here and why he was doing this; it was a horrible idea, but he had been having a lot of those lately.

Blaine signaled to the bartender for another drink; being at Scandals on 'Drag Night' was just the latest bad choice he'd made. But with the help of the alcohol at lest he would be numb. Numb to the fact the he had lost the one thing that meant more to him than any other, Kurt: the love of his life.

At the time that he made the worst judgment call of his life, he just wanted to hurt Kurt. Hurt Kurt for leaving Blaine so alone, for moving on so easily, for making it clear that though Kurt was the center of Blaine's world; Blaine was no longer the center of Kurt's.

In hindsight Blaine could see that the only reason he wasn't the center of Kurt's world was because Kurt's whole world changed. If Kurt had continued to have Blaine as the center of his world Kurt would have crashed and burned in his new life. Even though Blaine had wanted to hurt Kurt to show him the pain he himself was feeling he _never_ wanted to destroy Kurt. Although there was a very good chance he may have done just that, but he didn't know for sure because Kurt was no longer speaking to him.

He knows Kurt had wanted and even tried to talk to him the morning after Blaine told Kurt that he had cheated on him. Every word either of them spoke seemed to affect Kurt physically; Kurt looked like he might puke, faint or just die with each word and action.

Blaine had never seen Kurt so broken. Not when he first met Kurt and he broke down crying in front of an understanding stranger because he treated him like a human being. Not when Kurt's idealistic dreams of his first kiss were ripped away - to an overly romantic boy who longed for the touch of fingertips as the ultimate sign of love - that was a very big deal. Not even when he failed to get into NYADA and thought he had lost his chance at living out his dreams in a city of tolerance. No, Kurt had never seemed as broken as knowing that Blaine would have shared something with a stranger that meant so much when it was shared between them. That it 'didn't mean anything' only made it that much worse because losing his…well, _everything_ for something that had never and would never mean anything caused a pain in him he had never fathomed.

Yes, Blaine had hurt Kurt the way he had intended in the instant he made that hideous choice. Unfortunately hurting Kurt only ended up devastating Blaine more than any missed call, unnoticed moments of achievement or even finding out Kurt could be happy without him ever would have.

Blaine was drunk – not tipsy, or buzzed but completely: let me share my life story and "you're my best friend" being said to the bartender and anyone else that would listen for that matter, kind of drunk.

So when the biggest bear of a man Blaine had ever seen; wearing a fairy princess costume sat next to Blaine well in Blaine's drunken state this wasn't weird at all in fact it was welcomed because now he had someone new to tell his story to the story of a great epic love and its loss due to fear, loneliness, a lack of communication and spite.

Blaine turned to look at the strangest of strangers that just sat next to him "Hi, I'm Blaine" Blaine offered the fairy princess his hand.

"I know, I am your 'fairy _godmother'_" said the man in the weird costume in a dramatic yet deep gruff voice which is just what you would expect this man - that was almost a foot taller and 150 pounds heavier than Blaine and wearing a dress a 6 year old girl would find too frilly - to sound like.

"Does that mean you are going to solve all my problems with the wave of your wand?" Blaine asked while gesturing towards a very cheap looking wand with poorly glued on glitter then something dawned on Blaine and he looked over a little irritated and said "If you're hitting on me you can just move on."

"Ewww, gross. No." The fairy was so repulsed that it kind of hurt Blaine's feelings.

"And what is so wrong with me?" only after Blaine said it did he realize what he was asking.

"I am your 'fairy god_mother'. _I have followed you all your life. I would never want to have a quasi-incestuous relationship with you." The fairy looked a little sick at having to explain it.

At Blaine's level of intoxication he seemed to just take what the other man was saying on faith. "Wait, all my life?" Blaine said his confusion led to anger "Then why haven't I had a fairytale life? Why did I get bullied and beat up and why aren't I with Kurt right now?" Blaine's anger gave way to a hurt, tears and a small sob when asking about Kurt.

The fairy's eyes became distant as answering in a miserable tone "I can't change the way anyone feels or even make the choices I know are right for them. 'It is beyond our control to save them '" the last past said in a monotone- like it was rule that the fairy had been told repeatedly but never believed. After a beat the fairy said "I did help, when I could. I made sure you found music you liked and could get lost in. I left Dalton brochures for your parents to find to help end the bullying. I even broke your watch so you would be late and find Kurt on the stairs – sorry about the watch by the way"

Blaine whispered into his drink as tears still silently falling down his face "But you can't fix the past so…none of it mattered". If there hadn't been a break in the music what Blaine said would have gone unheard.

A new resolve appeared on the fairy's face "I can't stomach it anymore, Blaine. I won't do this anymore. This isn't just a job; you're like a child to me. They can't ask me to watch you suffer again. You and Kurt are hurting so much and because he won't let himself believe in me I can't be there for him. So, I am going to do something for you that I'm not supposed to do I am going to let you go back and fix it. Now take this wand if you need me say my name into it – I am Kailen. If you mess anything up and need to start over just tap yourself on the head like this" the fairy said as he tapped Blaine on the head with the cheap wand "and you will go back to the start but remember everything you do can and more than likely will change everything that comes after."

Kailen grab Blaine by the shoulder and spun him out of the chair; being drunk and twirled around made Blaine want to puke but the feeling subsided quickly.

Blaine found himself holding that ridiculous wand. He realized he was on the floor of a dark room feeling disorientated but now sober. He sat up looked around the room and found his clock; it was 4:04 AM. This wasn't just any room this was his room but it hadn't looked like this in years. Blaine turned on his light and found his phone so that he could look up the date. When he saw the date he was so shocked he nearly dropped his phone.

AN: I was looking up male fairy names and I found Kailen which just so happens to be an anagram of Klaine.

I need your help to continue this story so let me know how far back you think I should send Blaine the choices are:

1. Blaine's first day of high school (age 14)

2. The day of the Sadie Hawkins Dance (age 15)

3. The Monday before meeting Kurt (age 16)


	2. Chapter 2 Better than Before

AN: First thank you all for your help and reviews. I have this story posted on a couple other pages so if the results don't look like they match the vote that would be why.

It was November 8th 2010 it was the Monday before he met Kurt.

Blaine was so happy that he was in hysterics. He was laughing and crying; excited about the possibilities and relieved at the literal absolution of his sins.

This was a better outcome than he could ever have imagined. He would be able to change so much more than he had thought.

True at the time he met his godmother he was drunk with the goal of no longer thinking; so, he hadn't put a lot of thought into what he would do if a fairy granted him this kind of gift. But this had to be better than what he would have come up with he was sure of that.

This wasn't fixing something that was broken. This was the chance to create the magnum opus of relationships. There will never be excuses to cheat or any attempt wound one another. This time it would be perfect.

There won't even be an attempt at befriending a manipulative mildly sociopathic guy. Sebastian had only been away for Blaine to boost his ego anyway. Blaine just found it hard after going from being treated like an idol to being treated like an inconvenience.

There are so many things Blaine will change this time.

Blaine won't waste time on a useless alcohol induced identity crisis. That scared the hell out of him making him wonder if he was bisexual or worse that people had been right and it was all a phase. Maybe this time he'll avoid alcohol completely.

He could prevent the Gap attack; Blaine would be able to avoid asking Kurt to help him humiliate himself in the most publicly embarrassing manner possible. What was he even thinking throwing himself at that guy? Especially after meeting Kurt the closes thing to perfection Blaine has ever seen.

Blaine smiled to himself thinking of how it would go this time. Blaine would be able to serenade Kurt on their first Valentine's Day together. He could even tell Kurt that he loves him for the first time; it would be so romantic, just what Kurt deserves.

Blaine threw himself on his bed imagining getting to be Kurt's first kiss; he even planned how and when he would kiss him for the first time.

The thought of being Kurt's first kiss made Blaine think of all the other firsts. Firsts he had already been to Kurt and would be again. Needless to say that led to trying to mimic the feel of Kurt's touch. Blaine reminisced about the taste of Kurt's lips, his mouth, and his body. The flavor of Kurt's sweat was luscious but it was nothing compared to the addictive tang of his pleasure made palpable. Blaine could almost hear the whispered promises of eternal love they had shared. Blaine's mind raced with images of flawless straining muscles and the beauty of marble like skin. Blaine feels the rushes of passion that overwhelm his senses until they had to be released physically.

Blaine rushed to get ready even though he had been up since 4 AM - or 6:30 AM a little less than two years from now - either way he wasn't tired and he was hoping to drive past Kurt's house on his way to Dalton.

Blaine was so grateful he hadn't gone any farther back then age 16 as he rushed to his car. Blaine was pleased he wouldn't need to make up an extravagant story for why his Mom needed to drive him past Kurt's house.

Everything seemed right with the world; even the song playing was perfect: Michael Bublé – 'Haven't Met You Yet'. Blaine sang along at the top of his lungs.

Blaine knew he was being a bit of a creeper by trying to drive by Kurt's house but he just needed to see him. To look into those beautiful eyes of Kurt's when they weren't filled with hurt and disappointment.

As Blaine pulled into Kurt's driveway he saw a 'For Sale' sign in the front yard.

"Damn it" Blaine shouted as he rubbed his hands over his face in frustration.

Kurt hadn't moved here until after Burt and Carol got married. Blaine didn't know where Kurt's old place was. They had always met at the Lima Bean or one time at McKinley until after Kurt moved.

Blaine sat in the drive way for a moment trying to calm down "This isn't a big deal you're going to meet him soon" he repeated to himself.

Blaine decided to try the Lima Bean before heading off to Dalton. Blaine rushed inside but still no Kurt, but there was someone he knew. Or he will know them after he meets Kurt.

AN: I really loved the help so I thought it might be fun to do it again. This time who should Blaine run into at The Lima Bean?

Sue

Karofsky

Mike

Bonus question is smut ok in this story?

Yes

No

I tried to be as vague as possible in this chapter I thought I should check with you guys first.


	3. Chapter 3 Just Another Day at the Coffee

AN: Evidently you guys are ok with this thing getting smutty (but it won't in this chapter). When I finally checked the voting was tied; so, here is the best I can do with that.

There in line stood Coach Sue Sylvester.

Blaine couldn't believe his luck this was a chance to make a powerful ally at Kurt's school. To get the support of the woman that resigned as principle over what had happened to Kurt.

Blaine felt his stomach drop a little when he realized it wasn't what 'had happened' it was what 'is happening' to Kurt. Kurt still had to bring an extra change of clothes with him daily in case of slushie facials or dumpster tosses. Kurt still was covered with bruises from locker slams. It was still happening and Blaine knew Kurt was going through daily abuse that was causing more than just physical damage.

Blaine needed to help Kurt. Blaine needed to win over Sue.

"Excuse me, aren't you Ms. Sue Sylvester the coach that won six consecutive National Championships? The genius with the avant-garde style, I mean last year's competition was the best." Last year's competition was also the only one Blaine had ever seen. "You added vocals, which was unheard of until then. Then to have the whole routine based around a male cheerleader, it was revolutionary!" Blaine was certain he had just gone too far. He had been playing this so far over the top not even an egomaniac like Sue would believe anyone cared that much.

Sue gave him a calculating glare then said "I'll do you a couple favors Napoléon, first: I won't turn you in to the EPA for that oil spill on your head. Second: I will let you feel like you actually matter" Sue turned to the barista "Give me the largest most expensive drink, cookies and pastries you sell here 'The Mayor of Munchkinland' is paying" Sue stated as she gestured to Blaine.

Why Sue needed a 70oz cup of coffee or half the items in the display case was one of those things Blaine would never understand. Blaine had no idea you could spend so much at a coffee shop in just one trip. That was his coffee budget for two months, gone on a scheme that may or may not help.

Kurt was more than worth it though. There was nothing Blaine wouldn't give or do to have things back to how they should be.

Blaine was completely preoccupied as he left The Lima Bean. He accidently bumped in to someone, Blaine knew the taller boy.

It was Mike Chang and he was looking guilt-ridden as he tried to hide the copy of 'Call of Duty: Black Ops' he was holding.

Blaine knew Mike well enough to know he had a cousin that could get him games before the release date.

"Wow, I didn't know that came out yet" Blaine told him pointing to the game. "I'm Blaine Anderson by the way" Blaine offered Mike his hand and a charming smile.

"Mike Chang" he said as he shook Blaine's hand and returned the smile "and the game hasn't… technically come out."

"Well then I guess you are very lucky. I wish I had the opportunity to play it before the release date." Blaine didn't really care about the game but he did miss hanging out with Mike. Blaine was fishing for an invite to Mike's place. Blaine knew Mike would have a bunch of guys over every time he got a game early.

Mike just seemed uncomfortable at Blaine's obvious desire to be invited to his house.

Blaine knew there was two things that could win Mike over so he used them "Well, I have to go I need to work on a dance routine for Glee Club and make sure that The Asian Student Council Meeting hasn't been changed" Blaine turned to walk away.

"Hey, um…Blaine, my friends and I are going to get a couple pizzas hang out and stuff tonight. Do you want to join us?" Mike asked with a friendly smile.

"Yeah, sure that sounds like fun" Blaine beams. Today may have been a little costly but it was going wonderfully.

"Let me get your number because we're still working out where we are going to hanging out" Mike said as he passed his phone to Blaine.

"Tired of Hummel already? Is this your new boyfriend?" Karofsky jeered, earning a laugh from his friend Azimio.

"Don't worry about your vampire chick I got something for her to suck on now that you changed teams" Azimio said trying to provoke Mike into a fight.

It indeed worked because Blaine was forced to hold Mike back.

Blaine rounded on Karofsky "You clearly don't want to show up on the radar of a guy like me." Blaine gave Karofsky a knowing look that he changed into his best impression of Kurt's 'bitch glare' that he could muster. This was all it took confirm that he knew Karofsky was gay. "So, unless you _want _to continue this conversation, I suggest you walk away"

Blaine's statement went unnoticed by Mike who was still eager to find out what kind of damage he could inflict on Azimio.

Karofsky was petrified and it showed. He looked to make sure Azimio didn't understand the full meaning of what Blaine said. "Let's just leave these girls alone" Karofsky said nervously hoping to convince Azimio to leave.

Azimio left reluctantly, practically being dragged away by Karofsky.

Blaine wouldn't have outed Dave. Dave was going to become a decent guy but right now he was an unstable asshole. Karofsky was the one that had been hurting Kurt the most. Blaine couldn't let that continue anymore.

"Dude, that was awesome how did you get two guys twice your size to back down like that?" Mike looked rather impressed and mildly confused unable to grasp what Karofsky and Azimio found intimidating about Blaine.

Blaine laughed "You were there. You saw everything that happened, Mike"

Blaine handed Mike back his phone "Text me your number. I have got to go, I'm running late"

When Blaine got to his car he had two new texts. One from Mike saying he would see him tonight and the other a mass text from Wes reminding all the Warblers that they were meeting this morning.

Blaine remembered he needed to call Wes.

"Hello"

"Hey, Wes. Do you think it is too late in the year for me to join The Asian Student Council?"

"Blaine, are you Asian?" Wes asked uncertain if Blaine qualified to join that club.

"I am a quarter Filipino" Blaine told Wes proudly.

"Okay, I'll email you a schedule."

After a reminder about the importance of being on time to practice and their goodbyes Blaine was running ten minutes late.

There may have been some minor traffic violations but Blaine made it to Warbler's practice on time.


	4. Chapter 4 What am I to You?

Blaine sat away from everyone else in the back of the room during Warbler's practice. He wasn't able to concentrate on what was being said. He was too lost in his own thoughts. Being back at Dalton was odd to say the least. To be surrounded by people that think they saw you just last week when for you it has been months.

He was back to being treated like the golden boy, the rock star. He was looked at as the awe inspiring gentleman he had tried so hard to be back then. Blaine used to love the ability to hide here; to pretend he is something more than what he felt he was. Here he was his own blend of Cary Grant, Rock Hudson, Gene Kelly and for intense moments Gregory Peck. But now well, now it was unnerving to see how few of the people around him really knew him. He hadn't expected to be so conflicted about being here again.

Blaine isn't sure he could be friends with half of these people not after what happened less than a year ago. What Blaine guesses for the Warblers will be more than a year from now. These people think they are his friends but they aren't. They were willing to trade his friendship and wellbeing for a cheap plastic trophy. These are people that bullied and cheated just for a chance to be a footnote in the history of Ohio state show choirs. There is no way these are his friends. These are people that will watch him in desperate need of help, screaming out in agony, huddled to the ground in a filthy parking garage crying and still just walk away like it was nothing, like _he_ was nothing. They have betrayed him, they will betray him.

He felt like he did at his old school that same trepidation. He was starting to feel dizzy everything seemed distant. It felt almost muggy it was getting hard to breathe. Blaine loosened his tie and rubbed his hand across his face. He hadn't realized he was sweating. He felt a kind of tingling numbness in his hands and feet. His stomach dropped and his mouth began to salivate. Blaine was sure he was going to be sick. In the distance he could hear Wes announce their competition for sectionals. Blaine tried to get out of there; as he stood up his vision dimmed and he began to fall.

Blaine woke up as Flint placed him on one of the couches in the room. He could hear that stupid gavel being banged and the general panic of the Warblers.

"I have told you all that we must stay calm" Wes said with as much authority as he could.

"Did he hit his head when he fell? Did anyone see?" David asked.

"I'll Google what to do if someone faints" Thad told everyone.

"Maybe he needs to eat something?" Jeff added.

"Yeah, maybe he is hypoglycemic" Nick agreed.

"Position the person on his or her back. If the person is breathing, restore blood flow to the brain by raising the person's legs above heart level — about 12 inches (30 centimeters) — if possible. Loosen belts, collars or other constrictive clothing. To reduce the chance of fainting again, don't get the person up too quickly. If the person doesn't regain consciousness within one minute, call 911 or your local emergency number." Thad read loudly and with so much dramatic affect you'd think Cooper taught him to read.

"Please tell me none of you are thinking of a career in medicine or anything that requires you to be observant" Trent said as he made his way to the couch. "Blaine has been awake since Flint put him on the couch." Trent pointed out "Are you okay, Blaine?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Blaine said as he slowly sat up.

Suddenly there was coffee, bottles of water, fruit and cookies being handed to him. Someone put a blanket over his shoulders.

"Where did you get all of this stuff?" Blaine asked looking around in astonishment.

Most of the Warblers chuckled at Blaine's genuine surprise.

"The dining hall, lunch bags and the blanket is from the emergency kit Antonio keeps in the trunk of his car" Wes tells him.

The Warblers all doted on Blaine making sure he ate. They promised Blaine that one of them would be there to help him throughout the day. They even worked out a schedule. They all seemed to truly care about him. It was hard to come to terms with but the fact was that these boys hadn't actually done anything wrong yet. The final thing that swayed Blaine into forgiving the Warblers was when he realized that the Warblers were like him. They had acted based on their resentment of being left for bigger and better things. Their unforgivable actions haven't even happened yet. If he doesn't want to be a hypocrite then he has to forget the future mistakes and treat these people at face value.

The Warblers stuck to their word, someone was there with Blaine every minute of the school day. It was nice to know they cared but he needed time to be able to do his class work without someone checking on him and whispering the correct answers. He needed to be able to get lunch without someone trying to help serve his food and even cut it up for him. And what he needed more than anything he has ever needed before was to be able to shower after gym class without other guys watching him.

The Warbler's council scheduled an emergency meeting at the end of the school day. Blaine knew they were just checking up on him.

He decided now was the time to try to act like the old Blaine. That way they will leave him alone for at least a minute.

When the meeting starts Blaine request the chance to speak about their competition for sectionals.

"The council recognizes junior Warbler Blaine Anderson" Wes stated.

"My fellow Warblers, I believe that the Hipsters are not serious competition for us. Our vitality and contemporary song selection clearly give us the advantage. The New Directions however, we are grossly uninformed about their style and strengths. Gentlemen, might I recommend that in an era of social networking and multimedia that we use these innovations to our advantage I suggest…" Blaine pauses and straightens his tie just for dramatic affect "YouTube"

Blaine found it hard to believe that the Warblers would honestly applaud that crappy idea but it means they are treating him how they used to.

As the meeting ended Wes told everyone that they were to research the New Directions tonight and email any videos to the council that displayed the talents that are the biggest threat to the Warblers chances at a win.

By the time Blaine got home he had a text from almost every Warbler informing him of their availability day or night, that if he needed anything just call. When Blaine checked his email he found the remaining Warblers had sent the same offer via email along with their phone numbers.

He also had an email from his mom it was one of the three her standard 'we miss you, see you when we get back' emails that she sends ever day while they are away on business (Blaine hadn't even noticed they were gone this morning). Blaine thinks she has three different ones hoping he doesn't notice that they are all just the same email reposted over and over again it didn't help that after Cooper moved away it took her six months to notice the emails were still addressed to both of them. Blaine replied with one of his eight standard 'I miss you and can't wait until you get home' emails.

Blaine realized two things as he stalked the New Directions on YouTube, one: He had suggested that the Warblers spy on the New Directions and two: that none of the videos that they put up featured Kurt. So, he watched and sent Wes links of Kurt's Cheerleading videos.

God he missed Kurt. Kurt was gorgeous, talented and hot.

Blaine began palming his dick through his pants. He worked franticly to undo his pants thinking of how sexy Kurt was. How he was able move his lean body to convey desire and want in a way that Blaine hadn't seen him do in a performance until after their first time.

It immediately hit Blaine why Kurt was so different and it almost made him sick. Kurt had told Blaine that he couldn't act sexy because he was too romantic and the subject of sex in general made him uncomfortable. But now it was apparent that that forced kiss did so much more damage to the person Kurt would have been then Blaine ever thought. The boy in this video could be sexy and he was. He wasn't afraid to have someone see him as a sexual being because he felt safe. Blaine didn't notice a change in Kurt after it happened because he hadn't known him before.

Blaine was brought back to reality by the sound of an incoming text. It was from Mike.

AN: I am going to ask you to help me choose again. Whose house should they meet at?

Blaine's

Kurt's

What you choose could make a huge change in the direction of the story.


	5. Chapter 5 Video Games

Mike had sent Blaine the time and address for tonight. Blaine didn't recognize the address. He figured he wasn't sure where Finn or Sam had lived so it could be at one of their places.

Blaine quickly changed then grabbed the extra cash that his parents always left him when they left town and headed out.

Blaine arrived at 6:13 about fifteen minutes early. He sat in his car debating with himself what was worse: knocking on a random stranger's door and forcing them to deal with him until someone they both knew showed up (essentially this meant waiting for Mike). Or to sit alone in his car watching a strange boy's house waiting for Mike. (This would seem rather disturbing to anyone that noticed him). Blaine realized this was going to be awkward either way so he might as well be warm and go inside.

Blaine nervously made his way to the door and knocked. Blaine was relieved to see it was Finn that answered the door. Finn appeared confused as he glanced at Blaine then checked behind Blaine. Blaine turn to see what Finn was searching for. Blaine didn't see anything unusual, finely looking back at Finn Blaine asked "What are you looking for?"

"The pizza" Finn replied like it was obvious.

Blaine knew the answer but couldn't help asking "Do you think I am the pizza delivery guy?"

"Yeah" Finn said in a way that implied Blaine was the confused one.

"No, I'm Mike Chang's friend, Blaine Anderson" Blaine corrected offering his hand.

"Oh sorry, dude. Finn" Finn shook Blaine's hand then motioned for him to enter.

Walking into the living room Blaine noticed Carol and introduced himself with a charming smile adding "You have a lovely home."

"Oh thank you, but this isn't our house. I'm Finn's mom you can call me Carol. " Carol said.

Blaine was confused until He heard a gruff voice from the other room. "Are you sure about this Kiddo? I'm just saying yesterday you thought eating solid food was too much for me. Today you're okay with me leaving the house for the night. Then to top it all off you're okay with Finn and his friends playing video games here until midnight." Burt sounded weaker than Blaine had ever heard him but still in full parental mode.

Blaine heard Kurt's lilting voice tell Burt "First off of course I'm sure. I trust Carol with my life. In fact I trust her with something far more important to me…"

Burt interjected knowingly "Your clothes"

Kurt exhaled heavily "No, and thank you for ruining the moment, funny man. I was going to say, you. Secondly, you need to be in a low stress environment; being stuck at home with me smothering you with my good intentions isn't lowering your anxiety level. So I am granting you a reprieve for tonight. Besides Finn volunteered to host some boys' night and Coach Sylvester informed me that I was joining the Cheerios today and I need to learn the routines. So if Finn and I take over one house, you can get some rest at the other."

"Okay I'm trusting you on this one, Kurt but everyone is out of here by midnight got it?"

"Yeah, Dad" Kurt assured Burt.

Blaine was elated Kurt was safe. Talking to Sue had helped already; very few people messed with a Cheerio. Last time Kurt was a Cheerio all of the bullying by students had stopped.

Finn gets a text that made him groan in frustration "Aaron backed out too. Those idiots Azimio and Karofsky talked the other guys from the football team out of coming tonight." Finn tells Blaine.

Blaine wasn't really listening he was hoping to get to talk to Kurt as he walked Burt out but that didn't happen. Evidently Burt and Carol circumvented the living room by leaving though the garage.

It was more frustrating than Blaine ever imagined having Kurt a few feet away and still not being able to talk to him let alone touch him. All he needed was to meet Kurt. "So, Finn this isn't your place?"

"Nu uh, I live a few blocks away." Finn flopped down on the couch and offered Blaine one of the controllers.

Blaine waved it off "Maybe you could introduce me to the boy that lives here."

"Oh yeah, sure." As fate would have it the doorbell rang repeatedly in the most annoying way possible. "Let me just get the door first."

As the door open Blaine heard Brittany ask "Puck, did you forget how doorbell's work when you were in juvie? That's so sad."

"Come on Britt let's get this over with, once we teach Twinkerbell the routines we can go." Santana said pushing her way in.

"I'll tell him you're here. Blake wanted to meet him anyway." Finn said as he tried to catch up to Santana and Brittany before the made it to the basement.

"My name is Blaine." Blaine specified to no one in particular.

"We don't need you to announce us, Lurch." Santana turned, crossed her arms and glared at Finn telling him "Coach already told him that me, Britt and Quinn have to stay until he knows all the new routines. So stop wasting my time, so I can go waste it teaching someone who didn't even care enough about the Cheerios to bother trying out this year."

Puck walked over tipped his head up as a greeting saying "I'm Puck. The blonde is Brittany and the angry chick's Santana" Brittany regarded Blaine curiously. Santana gave an overtly insincere grin that conveyed hate and distain quite nicely.

"You know if you used an umbrella your hair wouldn't get wet like that." Brittany reached out like she was going to touch Blaine's hair out of curiosity but thought better of it.

There was a knock at the door it was the pizza. Blaine looked away for only a moment but by the time Blaine looked back Santana and Brittany had already gone down to Kurt's room. Blaine knew he had lost his chance to be introduced to Kurt until he came back upstairs. Blaine figured that wasn't likely to happen until midnight when he asked everyone to leave. It would probably take more than one night to learn all those routines.

Quinn and Sam got there before the delivery guy left. Quinn introduced Sam and herself before heading straight down to the basement.

Finn, Puck, Sam and Blaine sat around trying to decide if they should play Call of Duty: World at War or Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 until Mike showed up.

Mike came five minutes later arriving exactly at 6:30. Blaine gave the fourth controller to Mike. After all Call of Duty: Black Ops wasn't as exciting to him as it was to everyone else that was here.

They hadn't even played for twenty minutes before Artie showed up. Mike let Artie play so he could talk to Blaine. "This morning you were wearing a uniform. What school do you go to?"

Blaine knew where this was going "I attend Dalton Academy." Suddenly Blaine was the most fascinating thing in the room.

"You said you're in the show choir, right?" Mike asked calmly though Finn and Puck tensed.

"Yes I am. We're called the Warblers" Blaine needed to be as forthcoming as possible to make sure they knew he wasn't there to spy on them. The irony being he had convinced the Warblers that spying on the New Directions was a good idea. Which he felt guilty about of course but consoled himself with the knowledge that he knew more than even the New Directions did about their plans; he knew their setlists, choreography for both sectionals and regionals and the music and lyrics to the original songs they would sing. But he wasn't going to use any of it to change the outcome though.

"He's Jesse St Jamesing us" Finn tried to persuade the others.

"No, he isn't. He probably - like us - wasn't told who his competition for sectionals was until after he met Mike." Artie pointed out.

"Yeah, he never brought it up and he doesn't even know he just met most of the New Directions." Mike agreed

"Well, don't tell him." Puck exasperatedly insisted.

"Besides none of us are as obsessed with glee club as Rachel is." Artie told them.

"Okay, so how about no talking about the Warblers or New Directions." Blaine happily suggested.

They all agreed but it still took a while for Finn and Puck to stop acting like at any minute Blaine was going to jump up and – in Scooby Doo fashion – reveal that he was actually Jesse in disguise.

After a few hours they started falling back into the dynamic Blaine was used to. Puck telling graphic stories of his many conquests, featuring him doing things one could only hope for his sake was lies but knowing at least half of it was true. Sam doing awful impressions that ended with him having to reveal who he meant for it to be. But mostly they just talked about football and video games.

Around 10:30 Quinn, Brittany and Santana came back up stairs. To Blaine's disappointment Kurt wasn't with them.

Blaine heard Santana saying. "You better watch out for him, Quinn. He was the focus of National's last year and tonight he learned six new routines in four hours. And you know how Coach Sylvester seems to like to reappoint captains this year."

Quinn was irritated but pretended to ignore Santana telling Sam if he wanted her to drive him home he needed to go now.

Mike offers to drive Sam home so he can stay until midnight.

Thirty minutes after the girls left the guys started talking more about their girlfriends and exes. Which led to pressing intellectual inquiries such as Puck's "What celebrity do you think is most doable?"

Blaine was about to mention he was gay because this was the point in the conversation that it would be appropriate but he caught the sound of someone in the kitchen. It had to be Kurt. Blaine jumped up smiling like an idiot realizing he seemed like a freak. he tried to think of an excuse to go to the kitchen. He feigned a cough "I am going to go get some water." Blaine said as he hurried to leave the room.

Blaine stood in the door way watching Kurt.

Kurt was freshly showered, hair still damp with the smell of his body wash still strong in the air. He was wearing a long sleeve henley shirts and dancer leggings. Blaine knew Kurt's body well enough to know the way those leggings clung to every curve and long line of Kurt's body left nothing to the imagination. Kurt was singing Scissor Sisters – 'I Don't Feel Like Dancin'' while making himself a snack. Kurt was dancing around with far more rolling, thrusting hip movements than if he knew someone was watching.

Blaine had wanted to introduce himself but realized he may have been watching Kurt dance a little too long because his dick was already stiff and straining against his jeans. Blaine took a deep breath trying to get himself together to be able to meet Kurt without looking like a pervert.

"Dude, what are you doing?" Finn shouted accusingly as he and Puck caught Blaine watching Kurt. It was clear Finn thought Blaine was watching Kurt sing and dance as a way to spy for the Warblers.

Blaine froze thinking this couldn't get any worse. But on the plus side at least now he didn't have to worry about being hard when he met Kurt.

Luckily Kurt didn't turn around, he just said "Finn I've asked you not to call me Dude."

"I wasn't talking to you, Kurt. I was talking to him." Finn explained glowering down at Blaine.

Puck looked into the kitchen and snorted out "Finn this isn't what you think. Let's go."

Blaine looked back at Kurt who was now staring at him in shock and disbelief.

"Hi, I'm Blaine." he said bashfully with a small smile. This was certainly not how he wanted this to go. He was supposed to be suave and debonair sweeping Kurt off his feet.

"No, he's spying. Didn't you see?" Finn protested.

Blaine was half tempted to just tell Finn the Warblers setlist so he would go away.

"Yeah, I saw. Kurt found pants tighter than the ones he wears to school and that Blaine kid was sporting wood for him. I am sure this hasn't got anything to do with singing." Puck told Finn right in front of Kurt and Blaine.

All Blaine could think was this can't be happening. He tried so hard and everything was ruined in a matter of seconds.

Kurt burst out laughing uncontrollably. Through wheezes of laughter he told Puck and Finn to leave.

Blaine realized that this was the most mortifying moment of his life no matter what timeline you were looking at. It was like a nightmare. The love of his life thought he was a ridiculous degenerate. How could he have gotten time rewritten for this? Blaine put his beet red face in his hands.

"No, no, no. I am sorry. It's going to be okay I swear." Kurt was still fighting to not laugh rubbing his hand up and down Blaine's back comfortingly. "It's just that I didn't expect this. I haven't expected anything that's happened in the past twenty four hours."

This Kurt didn't hate him, he may think he was a weird pervert but not to the point he had Finn or Puck throw him out. Kurt touching him like this, trying to soothe him really did make him feel better. Blaine might still be able to make this work. Blaine looked at Kurt smiling face, eyes shining from laughter. Blaine couldn't help chuckling out "I can relate."


	6. Chapter 6 Little Things

"I bet things have been weirder for me today than they've been for you." Kurt told Blaine.

"I'd take that bet." Blaine grinned at Kurt willing himself not to notice that the pants Kurt was wearing were even more obscene from the front.

"Do you want to sit down and talk? I could make us a snack." Kurt smiled back at Blaine waiting for an answer.

Blaine smiled at Kurt "I can't think of anything I want more than to be able to talk to you."

Kurt was clearly struggling to suppress the snide comment dancing at the tip of his tongue.

Blaine looked at his feet, blushing. "Shut up."

Kurt laughed "I didn't say a word."

Kurt brought over a light snack and a couple of glasses of water for them. "So, tell me everything I need to know about Blaine Anderson."

Blaine told Kurt as much as he could about himself. Blaine wanted Kurt to fall in love with him and not the persona he showed the world. He revealed details that he withheld the first time around about things like Cooper, the Sadie Hawkins Dance and how he liked to pretend to be knowledgeable about everything in life but really he was just as lost as every other 16 year old boy.

At that Kurt reached over and held Blaine's hand. "We all do that. I think it's why we hurt one another we forget that the other person isn't as divine as they want us to believe. That's what it's like to be human we're all a little lost. We know how small and scared we are when dealing with life but we forget everyone else feels that same way too. It's difficult to remember that when it comes time to forgive someone else for showing their weaknesses. Maybe that's it; maybe it's why forgiveness is so important it acknowledges the reality we don't like to see. Unfortunately knowing something and feeling it are two different things."

"You're the most forgiving person I know." Voicing that broke his heart even further knowing he had done something that even Kurt hadn't been able to forgive him for.

Kurt laughed mirthlessly "I should know how to be even more forgiving than I am. I know how easily you could lose that person and never be given the chance to set it right again." Kurt looked so young and lost in that instant. "I lost my mother when I was a kid, I almost lost my father" Kurt's eyes shined with unshed tears looking deeply into Blaine's eyes. Blaine wanted to be there for Kurt so he touched Kurt's cheek. "and I lost the boy I loved."

Blaine took his hand away from Kurt's face staring at the table hating Finn more in that moment then he ever had hated anyone before. Blaine hated Finn for hurting Kurt and even more for being someone that Kurt had actually loved; the first time around Kurt had acted like it was just a crush but seeing him like this there was no denying Kurt had lost someone he truly loved. Blaine tried to control the shake of his hands and voice as he asked Kurt to tell him more about himself.

Kurt told Blaine about his ever morphing life from the heart breaking losses to the serendipitous gains. Kurt shared his ambitious dreams of getting out of Lima and moving to New York to work in fashion and to be on Broadway. They were all things Blaine had heard Kurt say before but this time there was a slightly different slant to everything. Just little things like Kurt had bigger aspirations including fashion as part of his career or how he truly thought of Finn and Carol as family.

It was sweet to hear how this version of Kurt seen the world, like it was beautiful and filled with hope. It was going to take almost two years before Kurt would see the world like this again.

Blaine took Kurt's hand in his own rubbing his thumb over Kurt's knuckles. Their eyes met in one of those moments that melts away all of your doubts and you know that you both want the same thing. Blaine watch Kurt's mouth as they both leaned in for the kiss that Blaine had been craving for what seemed like an eternity. Blaine could feel his lips tingle with the anticipation at being able to show Kurt how beautiful a first kiss should be. Blaine thought at least one thing would be perfect this time around.

Artie cleared his throat saying "I just wanted to let you guys know I was leaving."

Kurt and Blaine both looked over to see all the guys standing there awkwardly watching them. Blaine was frustrated while Kurt on the other hand seemed to find everything incredibly amusing.

"Yeah, we're taking off too." Sam told them gesturing between him and Mike.

They all said their goodbyes. Finn even apologized for continuing to doubt Blaine's sincerity. Blaine waved goodbye to Puck who was the last one to leave.

Finn left Kurt and Blaine alone telling them he was going to shower before making up the couch for the night. But it was apparent he just simply didn't know how to deal with them after the embarrassing situation earlier.

It hadn't gone how Blaine had hoped but he knew it wasn't realistic to think Kurt would fall in love with him at first sight. Even the first time around Kurt was charmed by him but not in love. Blaine got Kurt's number but it seemed too blunt to try and kiss a boy he hadn't even asked out yet.

Blaine distracted with his disappointment headed out. Blaine spotted a large man standing next to his car it took him a moment to realize it was Kailen standing next to his car. He was anxious and dressed completely different then Blaine had seen him. He was wearing a white T shirt and grey Bermuda shorts. Blaine approached him asking "Is something wrong? I didn't even recognize you out of the fairy costume."

Kailen bristled at the casual comment "This is the same uniform." He was irritated but mainly wounded as he sat on the curb. "Those were emblems of honor and achievement; I had earned each and every one of those ribbons, bows and ruffles that I was wearing the first time you saw me." Kailen pointed to the clothes he was wearing. "I've been stripped down to this for helping you."

"I'm so sorry. I didn't know." Blaine sat next to Kailen.

"How can they think my one mistake should overshadow everything else I've ever done? I helped and cared for so many people, but one reckless action and I lost everything. The good I've done far outweighs the bad. Don't you think?" Kailen was tearfully looking to Blaine for some kind of answer.

Blaine put a comforting hand on Kailen's massive shoulder but didn't know what to say.

Kailen hugged himself rubbing his arms. When he had calmed a bit he told Blaine. "I overheard the higher fairies discussing that sending you back has had 'unforeseen consequences'. They said it must have happened because we can't change how people feel. So, I came to make sure you are okay. Are you alright?"

"Yeah, but I did faint earlier when I was with the Warblers. I guess it happened when I was thinking about how I feel about them. Do you think that's what they were talking about?" Blaine asked him.

Kailen shrugged "It might be. You still have the wand right?"

"Yeah it's in my messenger bag. I left it in the car after school."

"Good, keep it close. Call me if you need me, okay?" Kailen said taking Blaine into a hug.

"Thank you, for everything you've done for me, Kailen."

Kailen vanished leaving Blaine standing alone in the cold trying to figure out how he was going to deal with fainting randomly from now on. He might have to transfer schools because he would go crazy if he had to suffer through another day of the Warblers monitoring his every move.

Blaine checked his pocket for his keys then Blaine realized he left them in his jacket which was inside. He needed to go back and get them but it had been ten minutes. How was he going to explain why it took him this long to notice he doesn't have his jacket or keys? Then a worse thought came to mind 'Oh no… after how we met I hope to god Kurt doesn't think something horrible; like that I've been masturbating on his front lawn.'

Blaine knocked on the door hoping he hadn't been out there so long that Finn and Kurt had already gone to bed.


	7. Chapter 7 Dream a Little Dream

AN: I wanted to thank everyone that left reviewed and that sent PM. I may not always get back to you but I always appreciate you and your interest in this story.

After Blaine left Kurt thought to himself. 'As far as being trapped in a dream goes this doesn't seem to be that bad.'

Of course the first moments of it had been horrifying. One minute he was having another sleepless night lying in bed; reaching over to grab his IPod. Suddenly there was this whirling, dropping feeling of vertigo that engulfed him despite the fact he was still in his bed. Instantly everything quieted as the sound of the city was replaced with the hush of a small town. Kurt realized this wasn't really a bed it was that awful Ikea sofa-bed he had when his room was in the basement. Even in the dark room Kurt recognized this wasn't Brooklyn. Kurt turned on the light it was his childhood home. Putting his IPod next to his old cell phone before he nervously picked up the phone searching for the time and date it was 4:04 am on November 8th 2010. Kurt was petrified; he thought about curling up in a ball crying giving in to the fear that was threatening to consume him. Then a thought hit him, fall of 2010 that was when his dad almost died. Kurt was half way up the stairs before he even finished the thought.

Kurt flung open his father's door earning a groan of annoyance from Burt as he said "Kurt, I thought you got over the constant checking on me." Once Burt was awake enough to see Kurt standing frightened and confused in the door way he asked "Were you having nightmares again? I can get up if you want. Are you okay?"

Kurt was still in a muddled haze but more than that he felt guilty. It was exactly as it had been when his father had his heart attack every good intention seemed to be an annoyance and he was making his dad worry about him when he should be recovering.

Kurt tried to sound as reassuring as he could. "Yeah I'm Okay, Dad. Sorry for bothering you. Go back to sleep."

The moment the door closed Kurt crumpled to the floor outside his dad's room, holding his knees trying to figure out what was going on. Kurt was frightened and weeping. How was he back in one of the darkest times in his life? This couldn't be happening; this had to all be part of a very weird dream. It must have been the stress from so many major life changes, losing his first love, being so far from his family and trying to adapt to life in a large urban neighborhood like Bushwick.

This was all just a dream and he needed to wake up. Kurt when back to his room grabbed his robe and tried to take a shower. Why wouldn't he wake up? He even tried turning the water all the way to cold but it didn't help. Kurt went to the kitchen and made the strongest pot of coffee he could. Half way through the pot of coffee Kurt realized none of this would help. Those are things to keep you awake not to wake you up. He had no idea how to get out of a dream.

Kurt tried to calm himself with the idea that he was safe and it was just a dream. He simply needed to think of a way to wake up.

Kurt felt a sense of composure come back to him when he realized in movies and TV you had to have an epiphany to get back to reality. Kurt figured he needed to go about his daily routine acting like everything was normal while looking for his way back.

Kurt dressed in something simple: a Lady Gaga t-shirt, his loose jeans, his black red and white sneakers and an open flannel shirt. Kurt stood in front of his mirror with his arms out at his sides waiting for something to happen. Kurt growled in frustration. Apparently the epiphany wasn't that he needed to embrace the small town boy in him without hiding who he really is. Kurt was disappointed because evidently this time fashion wasn't going to help him.

Kurt went back upstairs to make his dad his favorite heart healthy breakfast. As they sat together eating Kurt noticed his dad wasn't just sick he was sad. "Dad, have you talked to Carol lately?"

"Yeah, she calls on her lunch breaks." Burt looked happier after simply talking about her.

"I think you need to have her come over more. You should invite her over tonight." Burt looked a little apprehensive so Kurt added "You know Finn and I are getting along much better now."

Kurt knew that the only thing standing in the way of Burt and Carol being happily married was the relationship between their sons. Kurt knew he could fix that and maybe that would be what it took to wake him up. Kurt really didn't think that was it though because he was certain he already worked through all of those feelings.

When Kurt got to school he felt a little lost he had no idea what his class schedule was two years ago and it wasn't like he had someone to lead him around from class to class. Kurt decided he needed to get a copy of his schedule from the office.

Oddly enough the secretary didn't find it that unusual that a student would ask to be reminded of what their classes are. It all made perfect sense though when she asked "Are you going to need a copy ready for you every Monday like Brent and Brittany do?" Kurt shook his head as he was about to leave the secretary handed him another class schedule saying "Take this one to Brittany she's been standing out there for five minutes already."

Kurt found Brittany staring off at nothing in the middle of the hall. "What are you doing Britt?"

"I was thinking about riding a horse on the beach and then all the sand started floating up and turned into stars." She wiggled her fingers up in the air.

"Why?" Kurt asked not expecting an answer.

"Because it's better than what happens in real life" She told Kurt. He thought maybe she's had one too many concussions from being a Cheerio. Kurt offered Brittany his arm as they headed to the choir room.

When Brittany noticed how Kurt was dressed she held tighter to him rubbing her hand up his arm and asked. "Are you straight again?"

"No, Britt. I am not." Kurt rolled his eyes she really did live in a fantasy world.

Kurt realized if Brittany lived in a dream world maybe she had an idea on how to get out of one. "Can I ask you a question Brittany?"

"Yeah, that's a funny one."

"What?"

"You asked if you could ask me a question but that was the question." Evidently Brittany thought it was some kind of riddle.

"Okay…I am going to ask you another one now. How do you wake up from a dream?"

"It depends on the dream. If it's a nightmare you wake up when it gets too scary." Brittany looked at Kurt wondering if this was one of those times that the person she was talking to was going to roll their eyes and walk away. She was pleased to see he was actually contemplating her answer.

"Thank you Britt that was really helpful." Kurt left Brittany at the choir room door.

He had about five minutes until Mr. Schuester showed. That would be more than enough time to make it to the wing of the school that held the Athletic Department.

Kurt believed he knew what the most horrifying thing he could do at McKinley was. Kurt stood poised and ready to burst in and make a spectacle demanding the respect he deserved. He had come up with the speech he would was going to use on the way. He decided on "I am tired of the demeaning names and the condescending looks. I deserve more respect form you and everyone else around here. I am just as good as you are. In fact I am going to get out of this godforsaken town and you will probable live out the rest of your life in this crappy hellhole." If that didn't cause this dream to become frightening enough to wake him, nothing would.

Kurt barged in ready for his tirade to invoke a wrath like no other but before he could say a word Sue said "Gelfling, I was just about to send for you." She took a very small bite of a cookie then threw it in the trash can next to her desk that was filled with pastries and cookies.

Kurt was thrown off a little but he forcefully stated anyway "I am tired of the demeaning names and the condescending looks."

Sue cut him off again "Good, I want my Cheerios as fierce as possible." She stood up and walked around her desk "If the Department of Health hadn't stopped me I'd still be infecting the Cheerios with rabies. It was glorious to see the fear in the computation's eyes when they knew my frothy mouthed Cheerios weren't afraid of anything. Well, except for water."

"One of many problems with that statement, is that I'm not a Cheerio this year"

"You are if I say you are." She told him as she thrust an apparel box at him. "I'll send someone over tonight to teach you the routines. Stay up all night if you have to but you better know what you are doing tomorrow." She said shoving him out of the office and locking the door behind him.

Kurt couldn't help but think what he always thought after dealing with Sue 'What the hell was that? Did that really just happen?' Kurt felt lucky that at least this time he knew it hadn't really happened.

The bell rang before Kurt made it back to glee practice. Kurt walked in as Finn was drumming loudly on a book in his lap. Kurt walked over to sit with Mercedes putting his bag and box under his chair. Mr. Schuester was holding up a letter.

Kurt's heart sank when he remember today was the day they found out about the Warblers. What if this was all to do with how he felt about Blaine? He hoped that wasn't it though. Kurt didn't think he could handle it yet. He needed and deserved to work through his feelings on his own time. Kurt was sure he wouldn't be able to let go of the resentment, heartache and betrayal he felt this soon.

He wouldn't have to though. If he never goes to Dalton then he won't have to meet Blaine. If things got really bad he could transfer to a different public school but he wasn't planning on staying in this dream that long.

Kurt heard Santana say "Okay, hold up. Like a million awesome gay jokes just popped into my head." as she looked at Kurt. It made Kurt realize Sue wasn't the only frightening person at this school. He was ready to wake up now so he was willing to try anything. Kurt whispered "Hey Britt" looked flirtatiously at Brittany lick his lips and winked at her. Brittany smiled and waved back. Kurt mouthed 'call me' to her. Santana looked like she was plotting his death but didn't say or do anything.

This was so much harder to turn this into a nightmare then he thought it would be.

Kurt heard Mercedes complaining "How are we supposed to compete against a bunch of adorable old people?"

Puck answered "Are you kidding? Brittle bones. Give one of those old ladies a good luck pat on the rear, it'll shatter her pelvis."

Kurt took this as a new opportunity saying "Leave it to Puck to turn this into a new excuse for tapping old women"

"Damn straight" Puck said like it was a compliment. Kurt rolled his eyes.

Mr. Schuester said "Moving on. Since it seemed to get you guys jazzed about sectionals last year, I wanna make this week our second annual boys versus girls' tournament. So, Split up into two groups, and, figure out which songs you're gonna sing."

"Last year everyone but Quinn was high. You're not going to make that part of the annual tournament too, are you?" Mr. Schuester may not be intimidating but Kurt was willing to try anything.

The worst part was that everyone looked to Mr. Schue like Kurt's question was a legitimate one. "No guys. No drugs this time."

Kurt stayed in his seat, all the guys moved to sit around him. Kurt figured if he was stuck in this dream he would at least get to have some fun with it. "Let's try Thriller and Heads Will Roll." Kurt had been disappointed that he hadn't been there when they did that last time. The guys were surprised that Kurt hadn't tried to sit with the girls, and even more surprised that he came up with an idea they all actually liked.

By the end of class Kurt had remembered enough about the arrangement and choreography that they should be able to start practicing by tomorrow.

After class ended Kurt went to change into his Cheerios uniform. Kurt decided he would change in the bathroom because the locker room would be full of guys changing for second period.

Kurt heard crying, someone was crying so hard that their sobs were half the time dry heaves. The smell of vomit filled the bathroom.

Kurt walked over to the open stall door. It was Karofsky his eyes were red, his face was pale and tear stained and his fists were bloody from punching the now dented metal wall of the stall. He had puke on his shoes from when he had been still strong enough to stand. Now though he was looking like kneeling next to the toilet had becoming too much effort.

Kurt started to cry too he was sure this is what Dave must have looked like when he decided to try to kill himself.

"What do you want?" Dave asked his throat raw from being sick but it only reminded Kurt of how he sounded when he talked to him in the hospital.

Kurt walked over and locked the bathroom door. "I want to help you, Dave"

"I don't need your help…" Kurt walked back to where Karofsky was now sitting on the floor. Their eyes met and Dave asked "You know don't you? You can just see it like a fucking disease."

"I only know because I've been there. And it's not a disease it is part of who we are; there is nothing we need to cure or fix." Kurt sat on the floor outside of the stall.

"I don't want anyone to know."

"That's Okay. It is completely up to you when you come out. When I came out to my dad he was very supportive but not everyone is going to be as lucky as I was. Not everyone that should be there for you will be able to get past their own small minded bigotry to be there for you. It will be hard for you and you may even want to give up but you are going to make it through this. I will help you and so will everyone the loves you and accepts you for who you are."

"Before school today some guy on the street seen me and he knew. He just knew."

"You're afraid he is going to out you." Kurt didn't have to ask. "I wish I could tell you that wasn't a possibility but it happens. I'll be here for you either way. Did you know it took me until sophomore year to come out? It took me that long to come out because I grew up here were homophobia is so accepted that I saw and heard on a daily basis that what and who I am was wrong. It was so in grained in me that even I saw it as something to keep hidden like it was a disgraceful secret. It's not though we should be who we were born to be. Love isn't wrong. Being able to feel and show love is a good thing and shouldn't have to be hidden. Someday you will get out of Lima and be able to be who you want to be."

"Why are you being nice to me like this? I don't deserve it." Dave appeared to be confused at Kurt's concern for him.

"Everyone deserves to be treated with compassion, no matter what they have done." Kurt touched Dave's arm, "No one should live there life in a way that makes them forget such a simple concept of human nature." Dave still looked sick. "You don't have to stay at school. You know the nurse will send you home if you want?"

"I can make it. I have gym now anyway if I go now I can shower. I doubt anyone will notice I wasn't there anyway."

"Here give me your number." Kurt handed his phone to Dave. "If you need someone to talk to you can call me anytime." Kurt told him as he texted him so Dave would have his number too. He texted a single word 'Courage.'


	8. Chapter 8 Golden Slumbers

This dream was becoming tedious for Kurt. How was he going to recognize the all-important realization he needed to find, if he had to sift through everyday things. Kurt had hoped this dream would skip meaningless things like P.E. or the annoying taunts and harassment he went through daily back then.

Kurt really missed New York and the life he had there. Yes, he was heartbroken there but there was no hateful attention for him in NYC. If people didn't like you they mainly just ignore you, it was actually really nice. Here they wanted to make sure you felt their disapproval and he had the bruises to prove it. Kurt wanted a little bit of his real life back.

He had tried to talk to Rachel but she just yelled "Spy" at him. Rachel's dramatics boarded on Tourette's Syndrome. She wouldn't even talk to him. He had known they weren't close back then but he was sure they could have at least had lunch together.

"That girl needs to lighten up." Mercedes said as she came to stand next to Kurt. Seeing Kurt was upset she added "Don't sweat her, Kurt. Let's go get lunch."

Kurt and Mercedes went to sit with Tina who was already sitting with Mike and some of the guys from glee club.

Kurt tried to listen to what everyone was talking about but he was too caught up in his own thoughts to do it well. Kurt couldn't understand why he dreaming this? So much of this dream was filled with things he had already come to terms with.

He was still present enough to heard Sam say "Ask him." and see Mike nodding. Kurt figured his song choices earlier had won those two over. Sam was excited to be asked to do a Vincent Price impression. Mike enjoyed being able to perform elaborate dance moves for him while Finn's stiff rhythm less moves would still make perfect sense. Kurt never did understand how a drummer had so much trouble moving to a beat. Really wasn't that a drummers whole job?

"Hey Kurt, do you want to come over tonight? We're all going to play Call of Duty: Black Ops." Finn asked.

"No, I won't be able to join you. I need to practice some new Cheerios routines."

"Your loss, Bro." Puck told Kurt "but what would make tonight better is if Finn's TV didn't suck."

Kurt could see this was a perfect way to show his dad that he and Finn were able to get along. "You know Finn we are practically brothers now, and I have the better TV. Why don't you guys use my house?"

"Dude, that would be awesome." Finn said.

"Good, but don't call me dude." Kurt told Finn.

"Yeah, but we wanted to play until midnight. I don't think your dad is well enough for us to keep him up that late." Artie pointed out.

"If my dad stays at Carol's tonight then it won't matter when you guys leave." Kurt took out his phone to call his dad. "Finn you need to text your mom."

By the end of lunch Kurt and Finn had texted and call their parents so many times they may have agreed just for the peace and quiet it would bring.

"Kurt, is it okay that one of the guys that's coming over tonight you haven't met yet?" Mike asked as they were leaving the lunch room.

"Yeah, because I expect you and Finn to keep everyone under control whether I've met them before or not."

When Kurt got home that night he helped his dad pack a couple of overnight bags. "You know I only need one bag. Don't you think this is excessive?" Burt told him.

"You can't be excessively prepared." Kurt told his Dad sensibly.

Burt started searching the bags. "What if I need something and it turns out to be in the last place I look?" Kurt could tell he was looking for his toothbrush so he pointed out where it was.

"Whatever you're looking for is going to be in the last place you look because you don't keep looking once you've found it. Speaking of Carol," Kurt smiled shrewdly at Burt. "I wanted to make sure you'd eaten before she gets here."

Burt snickered, weakly drawing Kurt into a one armed hug. "Most people can't turn a conversation about a toothbrush into one about love." Kurt smiled but he hated seeing his dad so ill.

While Kurt was clearing the dinner dishes Finn and Carol showed up. Finn put Burt's bags in the car promising the whole time that he would keep everything under control tonight. It was almost six fifteen when the there was a knock at the door "Pizza is here!" Finn yelled to everyone even though he was the only one who cared.

When Finn left the room Carol asked Kurt to try to keep an eye on Finn and the other boys. Then she left the room to give Burt and Kurt a minute to say goodbye.

Kurt straightened his father's jacket. He tried his best to envision his father the way he was in real life: healthy and strong again because it was heartbreaking to see him this frail. "Are you sure about this Kiddo?" Kurt could tell his dad was nervous about leaving him after this morning's incident. "I'm just saying yesterday you thought eating solid food was too much for me." Burt knew Kurt would put someone he loves interests before his own and wanted to make sure this was about Kurt and no one else. "Today you're okay with me leaving the house for the night. Then to top it all off you're okay with Finn and his friends playing video games here until midnight."

Kurt didn't want his dad to worry about him. Fact was if he could handle walking alone in Bushwick after dark, he could handle being home alone with boys that at their most 'bad ass' might take cold medicine or play a video game before the midnight release date. "First off of course I'm sure. I trust Carol with my life. In fact I trust her with something far more important to me…"

"Your clothes" Seeing his father joking around made Kurt confident this was the right plan.

"No, and thank you for ruining the moment, funny man. I was going to say you. Secondly, you need to be in a low stress environment; being stuck at home with me smothering you with my good intentions isn't lowering your anxiety level." Even if this was all a dream Kurt still wanted what was best for the people he loved. "So I am granting you a reprieve for tonight. Besides Finn volunteered to host some boys' night and Coach Sylvester informed me that I was joining the Cheerios today and I need to learn the routines. So if Finn and I take over one house, you can get some rest at the other."

"Okay I'm trusting you on this one, Kurt but everyone is out of here by midnight got it?"

"Yeah, Dad" Kurt assured Burt. Kurt walked Burt and Carol out to the garage. "Call if you need anything, Kurt. I don't care if it's that you just want to talk. Just because I'm not here, doesn't mean I'm not here for you. Got it?" Burt told him as Carol nodded in agreement.

When Kurt went back in he could hear Finn talking to someone and Kurt didn't want to bother them so he just went down to his room.

He needed to move a few things back so there would be enough room to do scaled back versions of the routines. He had just finished when Santana and Brittany came down.

"Wow, this is nicer than I thought it would be. It's not all Judy Garland posters or gay nightclub."

"A nightclub would be great." Brittany told them.

"How many routines do I need to learn?" Kurt asked not bothering to decipher if Santana wanted to compliment or insult him.

"Six, so this is probably going to be an all-nighter if you're still in shape from last year. Otherwise you've completely ruined my plans for at least a week."

"Then we better get started." Kurt said flatly.

Santana and Brittany started to run through a very difficult routine half way through Quinn showed up.

"You think you got it?" Quinn asked smugly. Only Brittany seemed okay with being there.

Kurt couldn't help the huge smile on his face when they finished because he knew that routine. It turned out that he knew most of these routines either from Sue taking over Booty Boot camp or from Brittany helping with choreography.

The hardest one was the one that Sue first taught them. She wouldn't let them leave until they knew it. He had to email Mr. Schue about the way she'd been treating them after watching Finn spend 10 sisyphean hours trying to get it.

After the girls left he took a hot shower. He used the body wash that he bought last year when he first was a Cheerio. It was meant to lessen muscle pain, but he ended up using it for the pain from being slammed into lockers, that is until Blaine mentioned in passing that he liked it. Kurt hated that even in a dream he still couldn't escape the thought of Blaine but at least that was consistent with the real world.

After his shower Kurt looked through his clothes for the most comfortable thing to wear because no matter how well you know the routines four straight hours of high impact physical strain was likely to make you hurt the next day. Kurt put on a comfy long sleeve henley shirt and some dancer leggings that he hoped would help him avoid some of soreness tomorrow.

He went up to verify if Finn and the guys were under control and have a small snack before bed.

Kurt was singing while making his snack. Kurt started to dance a little but he was worried that his legs would hurt the next day so he mainly just kept to hip movements.

Finn suddenly gave a loud angry yell of "Dude, what are you doing?"

Kurt didn't look, if this was Finn's old homophobic ways he was just going to have to get over it. Kurt wasn't about to let it get to him not when he knew that Finn would understand soon enough. More importantly this wasn't even really Finn. "Finn, I've asked you not to call me Dude."

"I wasn't talking to you, Kurt. I was talking to him." At that Kurt turned to see an angry Finn hovering over a small, shy and guilty looking Blaine.

'Why was Blaine even here?' Kurt thought. He didn't want to have to deal with him. He should have been able to avoid this by not going to Dalton. Kurt got his annoyance under control he wasn't going to wake up if he let his resentment get the better of him all it was going to do was make him irrational and want to hurt Blaine emotionally in ways that he easily could because they knew each other well enough to know what would wound the other the most. Kurt didn't want that, it was one of the reasons he'd stopped talking to the real Blaine.

Kurt couldn't help thinking if this is about Blaine then why deal with a timid version of Blaine. This wasn't how the really Blaine would have acted he got angry when he felt he wasn't in control. It just didn't make sense why this Blaine was here.

"Finn this isn't what you think. Let's go." Kurt heard Puck say but he couldn't draw his attention away from Blaine.

'Why was any Blaine here?' Kurt kept wondering. Blaine didn't even know these guys until Kurt introduced them. Kurt was surprised because this maybe a dream but nothing had been this out of place before. Yes, people had acted a little out of character but it wasn't like people he just met in New York were now running around Lima. Which meant Blaine shouldn't be here.

Giving a meek smile the small timid sounding boy said. "Hi, I'm Blaine." It was as if he was the polar opposite of the Blaine that Kurt first met. He wasn't a rather arrogant guy that would describe himself as a rock star or be so self-assured that he would grab a stranger's hand without asking - to drag them along to watch him sing. In fact this Blaine was so shy that he didn't even offer his hand when introducing himself.

"No, he's spying. Didn't you see?" Finn was still yelling about this Blaine.

"Yeah, I saw. Kurt found pants tighter than the ones he wears to school and that Blaine kid was sporting wood for him. I am sure this hasn't got anything to do with singing." As Puck was talking Blaine's eyes became amusingly large and he colored with embarrassment as Puck freely scandalized him. Blaine looked like he wanted to run and never look back. Blaine was far more humiliated than he had been over the Gap thing. He truly looked traumatized.

Kurt thought 'God, my subconscious is vengeful. I knew I was angry but this is just cruel.' Kurt found himself laughing almost uncontrollably at what his mind came up with as punishment for Blaine. He had to fight to be able to ask Puck and Finn. "Could you give us a minute?"

Blaine was so upset he hid his face in his hands. Kurt wasn't sure if Blaine was going to cry or not but he didn't want that, he didn't even want that in real life.

"No, no, no. I am sorry. It's going to be okay I swear." Kurt was trying to force himself to think of only the happiest thoughts about Blaine hoping that would get his imagination to ease up on its treatment of this poor innocent version of Blaine. "It's just that I didn't expect this. I haven't expected anything that's happened in the past twenty four hours." Which was an understatement but no one would ever expect to get caught in a dream of their past.

"I can relate." Kurt sincerely doubted that statement.

"I bet things have been weirder for me today than they've been for you." Kurt told Blaine.

"I'd take that bet." Blaine grinned at Kurt trying far too hard to hold eye contact. It only reminded Kurt that this Blaine was a sweeter and sillier version of Blaine.

"Do you want to sit down and talk? I could make us a snack." He needed to find out what was going on if he wanted to wake up. Maybe this is how he could do it and this wasn't really Blaine this was a figment of Kurt's imagination so maybe it would work like journaling his feelings.

"I can't think of anything I want more than to be able to talk to you." That was the first thing said that seemed like the real Blaine.

Kurt was thinking of all the witticisms he would have said if he knew how this Blaine would react.

"Shut up." Blaine did that coy move he always did when Kurt teased him of smiling and looking at the floor.

Kurt had wondered if he did it only because he knew he looked adorable when he looked up from under his lashes. Kurt could picture the real Blaine practicing in front of a mirror. "I didn't say a word."

Kurt finished making up their snack when was heading to the table he noticed that Blaine was looking at him the way the real Blaine used to when they were planning out their future together. For Kurt it was a bitter sweet reminder of what he lost. He hoped they would someday be friends again able to talk about their futures but from now on if they talked about the future it would be separate paths possibly parallel but never again intertwined. "So, tell me everything I need to know about Blaine Anderson." Kurt realized dream Blaine hadn't told him his last name yet. He didn't seem to notice though maybe because it was a dream or maybe because the real Blaine wasn't observant either.

Blaine told Kurt his life story; it was filled with things that the real Blaine wouldn't have revealed so freely. Kurt assumed it was because this was what he had wanted Blaine to be. Or it could have been that the real Blaine had revealed all of these details to him.

Kurt didn't know what he needed to figure out. His thoughts were only getting even more muddled sitting here with this Blaine who wasn't the image of perfection he first got a crush on but closer to the real flawed boy that seemed perfect to Kurt. He embodied everything that Kurt fell in love with about Blaine. And this Blaine wanted nothing more than to win over the boy he like and Kurt was that boy.

Blaine lend a little closer looking miserable and worried giving the impression he was about to reveal a deep dark secret to Kurt "I often try to convince myself and everyone around me that I am perfect and know what I'm doing in life but you should know that I'm far from an angel. I've make terrible mistakes because I don't know what I'm doing. I really wish I did but I'm just as lost as every other boy my age."

So this was it. This was why he was here. At that Kurt reached over and held Blaine's hand. "We all do that." This Blaine's big secret was close enough to the speech the real Blaine used to brush Kurt off after the Jeremiah incident that it must mean something. Kurt tried to analyze and answer the statement all at once; find how it related to himself and to the real Blaine. "I think it's why we hurt one another we forget that the other person isn't as divine as they want us to believe. That's what it's like to be human we're all a little lost. We know how small and scared we are when dealing with life but we forget everyone else feels that same way too. It's difficult to remember that when it comes time to forgive someone else for showing their weaknesses." Kurt knew you were to strive to be perfect but you would fail every time and of course Blaine hated to fail. Blaine was like the little kid that would spend so much time trying to color within the lines that when he couldn't he would scribble all over the page to show his frustration. Is this it, is this his epiphany? "Maybe that's it; maybe it's why forgiveness is so important it acknowledges the reality we don't like to see." Knowing these things didn't help, Kurt still felt hurt and betrayed and unable to forgive Blaine. "Unfortunately knowing something and feeling it are two different things." And Kurt figured he was stuck here in this dream because of it.

"You're the most forgiving person I know."

The irony of the moment wasn't lost on Kurt that this sad boy that was trying to convince him that he was forgiving was the boy he couldn't forgive. "I should know how to be even more forgiving than I am." He couldn't let his own pain go. "I know how easily you could lose that person and never be given the chance to set it right again." Forgiving Blaine would mean he could spend time with him again like he was with this imaginary one. "I lost my mother when I was a kid, I almost lost my father" If he could forgive Blaine he would at least have his friend back. He didn't need to be able to date Blaine just forgive him. Then Blaine touched Kurt's cheek and he knew even if he was hurt by what happened he still loved him. "and I lost the boy I loved."

Blaine removed his hand from Kurt's cheek and Kurt looked away. This was too much for him. He was drowning in what ifs and if onlys but those are just another way of saying I don't want to live in reality. Which Kurt feared was why he was here maybe there was no epiphany to be found but Kurt wasn't ready to give up on the idea of there being a great realization that would get him back, at least not yet.

Then Blaine spoke again in a voice that was too controlled for Blaine to be in control. "Tell me everything there is to know about you."

Kurt decided that if this Blaine was asking him for his life story then it must be important to the dream. Kurt gave the most succinct account of his life he could. Kurt added in his new ambitions; realizing that if he really could have gone back two years ago he would have add enough extracurricular activities to get into any college he wanted.

Kurt hadn't even notice Blaine was holding and caressing his hand until he started to wonder what else he would change if he could.

Kurt couldn't see the harm in giving it to the fantasy playing out in front of him: The one were Blaine would look at him like he was the only man in the world the he would ever want and Kurt could believe it was true.

Blaine moved in closer to Kurt a look of passion and longing in his eyes. Before they could even kiss they were interrupted the guys were stand there uncomfortably saying their goodbyes.

Kurt couldn't believe how amusing he found this. Finally these guys that hang allover girls in the most inappropriate way got a tiny bit of payback, too see that it might be awkward for others to have to see it. But the best part was Blaine overly animated rapidly changing expressions from disbelief, annoyance, frustration, and of course the special one just for Kurt of why do you find this funny.

But it wasn't just the way Blaine looked like Rachel practicing her acting skills. Part of it was Kurt thinking: "What am I doing? Was I really hitting on an imaginary friend? Well it wouldn't be the first time I fantasized about what I'd do with Blaine if I had the chance. Hell, I've been doing that sense the first time I met him but this was the first time I cockblocked myself. So, that's something new."

Blaine and Puck both seemed to be trying to be the last to leave. While Finn talked to Blaine Puck came over to talk to Kurt. "Bro, I never understood you until now. You're a sex shark like me but haven't had any prey. Now I see why you have always been so moody."

"Yes, thank you. Have a nice night." Kurt said trying to usher Puck out before he could say anymore offensively friendly thing.

Finn stood there for a moment appearing extremely uncomfortable then with flailing gestures and in a loud voice with way too many pauses like he was in a badly staged play he said "I will be going up stairs now to take a shower then I will come back down the stairs to make up the couch so I might sleep there."

That disturbing attempt a subtlety actually make Kurt forget Blaine was there.

"Could I get your number…please?" Blaine asked as if it was a life changing question.

"Sure, you can text me your number later." Kurt added his number to Blaine's phone.

Kurt still wasn't certain why he was dreaming of Blaine but Kurt supposed he would follow this Blaine lead if he tried to kiss him. Kurt would ask him to stay the night. If he left he would let it go as his mind telling him that Blaine should only ever be looked at as a friend.

Once again this Blaine was being indecisive he was giving every sign that he wanted to kiss Kurt but then he said goodnight and left.

It was probably all for the best anyway. Kurt couldn't imagine how embarrassing it would be to wake up from this dream in the morning and have to face Rachel after having a sex dream with her just a curtain away.

Kurt had been tidying up the house when there was a knock at the door.

AN: If I decide for them to have sex which I'm not saying I will because sometimes I change everything as I go.

I need your help to figure out. Who would top? (This question makes some people really touchy. Even though knowing a person's disposition isn't going to tell you what sensations they physically enjoy.)

Kurt

Blaine


End file.
